God Bless America . . . Or Else!

A thirty year old named Bradford Campeau-Laurion went to a game at the old Yankee Stadium last August.

During the seventh-inning stretch, he had to relieve himself. So, he slid down his aisle until he was forcibly stopped by one of New York’s finest. Seems the song “God Bless America” was being played at the moment. And, the Yankees, bless their our-way-or-the-highway patriotic hearts, have a rule which prohibits fan movements during the song.

After first being stopped by the officer, Mr. Campeau-Laurion, needing to heed the call of nature, tried to move past the policeman. The officer then grabbed one arm, twisting it behind Bradford’s back. While another officer proceeded to do the same with the other arm. Read the rest of this entry »

My Facebook Moment & 25 Random Things About Me

I joined Facebook.

For about a week. Then I deleted myself. I’m much relieved.

Entering that world was merely a matter of curiosity. One of my friends, a middle ager as myself, joked about how another of our buddies, also a chronological contemporary, was his Facebook Friend. I wanted to see what that meant. Then realized I had to join the network if I wanted to find out. So I did.

And those guys were listed as friends on each other’s page.

Hmm.

I did nothing more. Then I got an email, saying somebody I don’t know wanted to be my Facebook Friend. I ignored it. Then I got another email advising that an old nemesis wanted to be my Facebook Friend. I ignored it.

But, realized: Enough is enough. I cancelled my registration.

There’s more. Click on the title.

Read the rest of this entry »

Is Our New Hero A Harbinger?

What strange times these are.

You don’t need me to tell you yet again how despicable the outgoing president and his let-them-eat-cake administration have been. I’m not alone. And it’s not just partisans who now realize what a revolting development W’s eight years in office turned out to be.

I shan’t dwell on it. In 48 hours, W will be free to crony up with oil buddies every day for lunch without having to worry about a country to lead. He can concentrate on spring training without silly old position papers to attempt to digest. It’ll be a good thing for him. A better thing for the rest of us.

But that’s not the only odd thing goin’ on. Read the rest of this entry »

Give This Man A Seat

I’ve always espoused the theory that Louisiana politcs always rank highest on the meter registering political shenanigans. Given what’s happening in Illinois, I’m ready to rethink my position. There is chicanery afoot of the highest order.

And I’m not talking about the state’s helmet-headed governor either.

What is happening to the apparently decent Roland Burris I wouldn’t wish on the most scurrilous of scalawags, say, Dick Cheney or some similar skank.

Rod Blagojevich, despite his possible criminal culpability, is still governor of Illinois. One of his constitutional duties, and rights, is to fill vacant seats in the U.S. Senate. Despite the allegations that the guv tried to sell the seat, there hasn’t been a bit of evidence, rumor or innuendo that one of the folks involved in such a scam was Roland Burris.

Therefore it is incumbent for the authorities responsible in Illinois to certify his selection. And it is incumbent that the U.S. Senate thereafter seat Mr. Burris. Common sense and decency require nothing less.

Culture Maven’s Person of Year

On a lark, an old pal Jan and some friends went to a Lisa Minelli concert in early fall during the election. It was a rather staid crowd, including the well dressed couple sitting next to them.

To introduce a song, Lisa mentioned it was homage to “the greatest woman ever.” At which point the seemingly normal, mild mannered fellow in a suit and tie sitting next to my friend shouted at the top of his lungs, “Sarah Palin.”

Incredulous, Jan looked over and asked, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Absolutely not,” he answered.

In fact, Minelli was referring to Sara Lee. Yeah, the coffee cake gal.

But here’s the point. In a year when our country finally stood up for truth, justice and the American way by electing our first black president, when we finally are able to bid a fond adieu to our worst president in history and his unrepentant, egregious sidekick/ puppeteer, the most compelling personality of this very political annum was an out-of-the-blue previously unknown vice presidential candidate from Alaska.

Because of that unfortunately not-so-stunning phenomenon and what it says about our culture in 2008, Sarah Palin is the Culture Maven’s Person of the Year. Read the rest of this entry »

We’re # 1

Always willing to herald the achievments of the town which he has mayored for the last, oh, century and a half or so, HizzonerForLife Jerry Abramson, for some inexplicable reason, has chosen not to publicize the one area in which Louisville is #1 in this Googlefied, cybergalactic age.

The city whose citizens are most likely to search for obscene material on the internet.

We may be hurtin’ for certain in other areas. But, as Carl Spackler famously said, after caddying for the Dalai Lama and receiving eternal life, “So, hey, we got that goin’ for us.”

Don’t believe the ol’ Culture Maven. Read about it here.

Long Winter Ahead

So I’m thinking about the economy. And wondering when it bottoms out and takes a turn for the better, where the jobs are going to come from?

The number of human beings necessary for commerce has been on the decrease for decades.

I remember a comment from the guy in my office in the 70’s charged with hiring and firing. It was the advent of electric typewriters and rudimentary word processors. He was one of those liberal, humanist types, but his words resonated. “I’m not going to allow efficiency get in the way of hiring real people to do our secretarial work.” That’s a paraphrase, but close enough.

That’s a long time ago. Read the rest of this entry »

Wilkommen back 1984!

Call me Paranoid. (Or Call me Ishmael, if you like, but it won’t be quite as apropos, given my subject here.)

Anyway, I’m getting a bit paranoid. Like I said. It derives from several recent readings and planned events in the context of our wackamundo terroristic world.

Here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking things are starting to look a whole lot like the world in George Orwell’s seminal dystopian novel, “1984.” That world of brainwashed Winston Smith consisted of three super powers. One was Oceania, where Smith lived. The others were Eurasia and Eastasia. Read the rest of this entry »

McCain Rocks SNL

In this stunning, never-ending presidential campaign, it was a moment that resonated as both its most endearing and its most dispiriting.

If you haven’t seen the snippets of John McCain’s appearance on SNL last Saturday, just three days before the election, do yourself a favor. Check ‘em out at nbc.com.

The opening segment where McCain and Tina Fey as Sarah Palin are pitching at QVC is genius satire. Cindy McCain, bless her stoic, shrewish heart, even shows up and mugs for the camera in her own very measured way.

That McCain, who by all accounts will lose the election, would come on this stage and make fun of himself and the whole process says a lot about the man. It shows that he is decent and self effacing. It shows how much he chose or was forced or convinced to sublimate those instincts of decency in order to try to get elected. (To his credit, when running mate Sarah Palin’s incendiary attacks against Obama started to get vicious, McCain reigned in her diatribe and vitriol as well as his own.) Read the rest of this entry »

Riddle Me This, Part Deux.

So I just went for a fill up at the gas station/ convenience store/ gathering place/ donut shoppe around the corner. My new Mini Cooper, bless its thirsty little heart, takes premium.

Well, whodathunkit, I paid $264.9/ gallon.

Imagine that.

It’s no coincidence I say. Every year before a national election, prices go down in the months before the election. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

The conspiracist in me believes Big Oil wants to hoodwink us into thinking things aren’t so bad under the Republicans, so they can stay in office. Then Big Oil would get to continue getting obscene tax breaks that fuel its more than obscene profits.

Don’t fall prey to the ploy. Please.

It’s Time Already

In a week’s time we will know the name of the next president.

Hopefully. Never underestimate the possibility of 2000 redux.

There are those vexsome Republican-leaning Diebold voting machines. And donkey and elephant lawyers with their briefcases packed. And the whole faux ACORN mess. Not to mention the pissed off hockey moms across the land.

Which is to say it might not be as cut and dried as Keith Olbermann doing the donkey dance in celebration about 2:00 a.m. next Wednesday morning. Read the rest of this entry »

Obama’s The One

It may be not apocalyptic, but it sure is fish or cut bait time for the American electorate.

We’ve heard it before, but I’ll reiterate. This is an important election. A very very important election.

Too important — hopefully — for our “American Idol” culture to fall prey to the smarmy campaign being run by the Republican ticket of John McCain and Sarah Palin.

As best I recall there are tens of thousands of our boys and girls in Iraq. And we are spending billions to prop up a government there that, by all accounts, is more flush than we are because of oil profits.

Our financial system is in serious turmoil. Companies are going under. Unemployment lines are lengthy. If not panic, a certain sense of ennui is pervasive.

People need to be able to pay for health care. Hell, they need to be able to buy milk for their kids and put gas in the car so they can at least go out and look for a job to replace the one from which they’re laid off.

Our bridges are wobbly. Our roads are crumbling. Restaurants and stores are closing. The construction business is at a standstill.

And McCain and his lipsticked pit bull running pal are carping about a couple of lunch meetings Barack Obama had with a distinguished professor who happened to be a Weatherman back when Obama was just out of diapers.

So the question the American electorate must answer is this: Are we going to be so stupid, or so racist, or so loyal to these renegade elephants, that we let them get away with stealing the future with this election? Read the rest of this entry »