Sandwich Eater Chronicles: Two Weeks Til Tuesday

Posted: October 23rd, 2012 | Filed under: Sandwich Eater Chronicle | No Comments »

Last night at dinner, the Film Babe asked if I’d ever been called out as an old fart for using some archaic term while speaking?

I don’t think so, but I certainly am a product of my era.

I did say that just that evening I heard the word “sots” used, referring to a group of alcoholics. Hadn’t heard that one in awhile.

She gave me a few tips, so I’d seem more up to date than I might actually be, advising me not to use the word “blouse.” That “top” was in vogue these days. And that “pants” was now preferred over “trousers.”

I was inclined to inquire if the term “trouser snake” is still considered proper terminology? But passed.

We discussed the word “negro,” now long out of vogue, and probably just over the line into the zone of political incorrectitude. I often use it for effect, to make a point. Such as recently when I wrote of the racial problem facing President Obama.

At any rate, I am sufficiently forewarned and shall endeavor to stay moderne henceforth and hereinafter.

* * * * *

Did you see the blurb about the Italian court that convicted a bunch of scientists and earthquake experts of manslaughter?

Because they failed to adequately warn the populace of a quake that struck central Italy in 2009, killing over 300 people.

Tough jurists, those Italians.

They handed down strongly for penalty and repentance, the noted seismologists and geologists with a six year sentence.

Wow.

* * * * *

From time to time I need to use a pencil. Thus I keep a few around. Which situation has presented a bit of a problem.

Which is finding a pencil sharpener that works. Frankly, I’ve been looking for years, to little avail.

I’ve tried the little cheap ones that wear out your wrist after about thirty turns. At which point, the pencil is down to a nub, but without a usable lead point. I’ve tried battery operated ones, which always seem to sharpen off center. Which may be the pencil’s fault, but still . . . for twenty bucks, you think the sharpener would self align.

Today I purchased — for $11.99 + tax — one similar to those I recall from elementary school. On a little stand with a hand crank and a receptacle. Back in the day, the device was bolted to the wall in Miss McCord’s second grade classroom. So too, in Mrs. Lewis’s third grade domain. They were made of heavy metal. They worked.

The one I purchased this morning is supposed to stay attached to a surface by vacuum. There’s a lever on the bottom that institutes the suction. The device still slips and slides and loses traction. It does give a pencil a mighty fine point. But, again off center.

Which leads me to believe there’s not as much craftsmanship going into the manufacture of yellow #2s as back in the day.

* * * * *

Is it my imagination or is there a new boot camp workout facility in every vacant storefront in town?

* * * * *

Now that those major items are out of the way, some comments on the presidential campaign.

Okay, maybe not.

Or, at least, not a lot.

I actually watched more of last night’s debate than the first two combined. I’m stunned they didn’t talk about Latin America, foreign drugs being smuggled into the country, the European money crisis or BRIC.

I wish one of the guys would have said, “Listen, we’re not SuperCop. We can’t just fix things in other countries to suit our needs. We don’t have that power.”

I just glad the end of this interminable, substance-bereft campaign is two weeks away.

I hope Obama wins.

But I know there are millions of people out there who shall vote against him simply because he’s a negro with a Muslim sounding name. Those folks don’t care that it’s Mitt Romney they’ll be casting their ballot for. They’d vote for Attila the Hun, were he running against that Arab guy they’re so very sure was born in Kenya.

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