Movies I Love, Part XXI: Bull Durham

Anybody who has ever listened to my film reviews on the radio knows I’m disinclined to give Kevin Costner credit for any worthwhile moments on the screen. Shtick I’ve used far too often credits his best performance as the one in “The Big Chill.” In which film, of course, all his scenes were cut. Yuk.

But the truth: His characterization of Crash Davis in Rod Shelton’s marvelous baseball romantic comedy “Bull Durham” is deserving of praise. If only for this one bit of monologue, one of the greatest in film lore. (My apologies for video quality, sound quality and synchronization. But it’s worth it despite the flaws.)

Of course he’s aided in his performance by a marvelous script and the always intoxicating presence of Susan Sarandon, beguiling as ever as Annie Savoy. Here’s her life code as narrated at the film’s beginning:

“I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring… which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250… not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. ‘Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball – now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake? It’s a long season and you gotta trust. I’ve tried ‘em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.”

Each season Annie chooses one of the Bulls to, ahem, mentor.That year she doesn’t choose Crash. That season her eyes landed on future real-life hubby Tim Robbins as the simpleminded fireballing future major leaguer Nuke LaLoosh. Costner’s character, a never-reached-the-top-of-the-hill vet is brought in to school the raw talent on the way to make it to the Show. You know, the Bigs. The major leagues.

So Annie takes Nuke under her wings — and sheets — to teach him the ways of love, and some tricks of the game. And Crash takes Nuke under his wings to teach him baseball.

Meanwhile, Crash and Annie keep looking at each other sideways.

The film is a keeper because it works on two levels. It’s a very knowing tribute to life in baseball’s minor leagues. Shelton did a stint in pro ball, so his stories and scenes ring true. The comic aspects derive from realistic situations, unforced and gentle. The romantic aspects also come from a real place. Crash and Annie aren’t getting younger any more, so their long simmering, slow to fruition attraction, again unforced, is certainly true to life.

It’s that time of the year when we head out to the ballyard with the family, if only soak up the Americana of our national pastime is such a part.

But, if you get rained out. Put the kids to bed and rent “Bull Durham.”