The World’s Greatest Gravestone

Posted: March 5th, 2009 | Filed under: Culture, Features, Music, Personalities | 2 Comments »

How did I come to honor the curiosity that is the grave marker of one hit wonder Ernie K-Doe (Real name: Ernest Kador)? Listen up.

Those into Oldies but Goodies surely know without much brain racking that he sang “Mother In Law” The Top 40 song with the classic call and response. The lyrics in full:

(Mother in Law) Mother in Law/ (Mother in Law) Mother in Law

The worst person I know/ (Mother-in law, mother-in law)/ (Mother-in law, mother-in law)/ She worries me, so/ If she’d leave us alone/ We would have a happy home/ Sent from down below

Mother in Law/ Mother in Law

Satan should be her name/ To me they’re bout the same/ Every time I open my mouth/ She steps in, tries to put me out/ How could she stoop so low

I come home with my pay/ She asks me what I made/ She thinks her advice is the constitution/ But if she would leave that would be the solution/ And don’t come back no more

Mother in law/ My……mother in law

Well, the lyrics “Mother In Law” are sung on the record by a fellow named Benny Spellman, a two hit wonder himself (“Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)” and the original of “Fortune Teller”). The former of which two releases caused consternation to our Mr. K-Doe because of his lack of involvement in the projects.

Anyhow, a pal’s wife was in New Orleans recently and somehow hooked up with Spellman’s daughter. When he shared the story with me, I began riffing about K-Doe, perhaps the most eccentric of singers in a town that also produced the likes of Bobby Marchan (“There Is Something On Your Mind”), among other wackoids.

I mean, really, read that gravestone again to get the full effect of K-Doe’s faux sense of grandeur and importance.

So I shared the gravestone with my pals, then shared them another K-Doe tale. There are many.

One of the features of many of the yearly New Orleans JazzFests has been a Dew Drop Inn Revisted concert. That was the name of the local R & B club during the hey day of 40′s, 50′s and early 60′s. Maybe 15 years ago I went to one of the Revisted concerts in the ballroom of one of the hotels during the week between JazzFest weekends. Dave Bartholomew led the Big Band. They trotted out old stars, like Al “Carnival Time” Johnson and Marchan. Each sang their hit or hits. Next.

K-Doe was always a part of these shows, but he had only the one song to do. Yet his ego wanted a full set. He’d be tanked up, in his cups — he was what my mother would call a “shikker” (drunkard) — and he’d come out and do “Mother in Law,” stretching it out for as long as he could. So, on this night, he’s done the song and band is still vamping and K-Doe is trying to stretch it out more, and he shouts “Everybody who loves Ernie K-Doe, on your feet.”

The crowd is dutiful and into the spirit and does so. People are clapping, getting into it. After a bit, he goes “Everybody who loves Ernie K-Doe, wave your hands.” And so we do for another little bit, the band still running the chords in the background. Then comes, “If you love Ernie K-Doe, get out your handkerchiefs and wave them for Ernie K-Doe.” Those that are so equipped do so. So now he’s dragged this on for three, four, five minutes, the guy’s on the side of the stage, running the show, are looking to get him off the stage. Then, the coup de grace, our man shouts “Everybody who loves Ernie K-Doe, down on your knees.”

They then walked him off stage.

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